Chapter Text
[June 2021]
Making her way into her room, Azzi nearly slammed her door shut out of pure frustration, but she would not be as bold to test her parents in that manner. Groaning in frustration as she just paced her room, Azzi was growing annoyed with the daily questions about her college choice. What was supposed to be a chill family dinner, quickly turned into an argument with her dad over the subject with little to no help from her mom in just skipping the subject of college in general just for the night. Taking a seat at her desk, Azzi quickly put her phone on charge as she felt the best thing to do to calm herself down was to watch some Tik Tok videos. For the first few moments it had seemed to work, she was becoming engaged with just how crazy each video was becoming by the swipe, laughing a bit at some. Just as she was on to her next video, she was interrupted by an incoming call from Paige.
“And this should be a predictable conversation” Azzi sighed before answering the phone to hear Paige shuffling about in her car. “Hey, I can’t talk long” she said making her intentions known to her best friend.
“Okay, I see you really are in a mood” Paige picked up from her friends’ response. “I called the house phone because you were not noticing your cell phone. Jon told me you and your dad had an argument???” she questions.
“Yep, sure did” Azzi quickly replied.
“…. Mind telling me what about? Your obviously still upset about it” Paige asked as a silence came between them for a moment that she was eager to break.
“No, because I already know where you are with things. I just cannot hear it tonight, like seriously, it is just all too much and I just wish I could just be done with the whole thing…” Azzi babbled on as she felt herself becoming upset all over again.
“So, I take it we’re talking about college” Paige concluded from Azzi’s tone that sounded like she was truly frustrated. “Look, I know you do not want to hear it but it is very clear what the best option for you is. It is the only option that makes sense for what you are trying to do with basketball and school” she said as Azzi laughed in disbelief on how she blatantly disregarded her feelings of not wanting to talk colleges.
“You really give no sh*ts about how I feel. I literally just told you I don’t want to talk about colleges and here you go with your pitch. Like seriously Paige???” Azzi questioned.
“You’re only making this more stressful for yourself the longer that you entertain all these options” Paige replied. “Connecticut, you would have me. We would finally be able to team up again and build our legacies like the other Connecticut greats. We need a shooter, and you know I know your game to help you make an easy transition in” she began to explain.
“And what if I don’t want to play with you?” Azzi quickly replied. “Have you ever stopped to factor that in?” she questioned.
“Well, that’s stupid” Paige replied as Azzi just laughed in disbelief before Paige realized what she had said. “No, I did not mean it like that. I meant this is what we have always talked about since Team USA” she exclaimed.
“No, this is what you talked about since Team USA. I just agreed because who can get a word in edge wise with you” Azzi replied.
“Okay, now you are acting like I forced UCONN on you. Do not make me out to be the bad guy, when you know we have literally talked about playing together for years” Paige replied.
“I am not making you the bad guy, I am just sick of you constantly pushing what you want, when I even try to talk colleges with you. I come to you because I get the same thing from my dad, but I would at least expect my best friend to hear me out and what I want…” Azzi began to say.
“You are being dramatic right now; I have always listened to you when we have talked about colleges. Azzi, I literally just dealt with the same thing, in which we talked about colleges!?!” Paige replied.
“Where you talked about your college choice, and again I listened to you talk about your college of choice…” Azzi began to say.
“I did not call to argue with you. I really did not call for that, especially when you are acting like this” Paige replied becoming annoyed with Azzi.
“Acting like what?!? Like I would like for someone to please shut up about what they think I should do and where I should go, and just ask me what I want??? That I should act like
I give a sh*t about where I’m going to either must move to on my own or commute to??? About my first adult decision??? I am sorry that that does not align with your UCONN agenda” Azzi said as she just cried with all the pressure, she was feeling from such a heavy decision to make. Hearing her friend crying on the phone, Paige felt as if her heart was breaking as she never wanted to be a cause for her tears.
“Az...” Paige began to say after moments of hearing her cry weakened her even further.
“No, save it Paige. I am just done for the night” Azzi said as she wiped away the tears, trying to get herself together. “…you know the funny thing in all of this, you only bring up the reasons to go to UCONN basketball wise. Like the only reason to come is to play with the great Paige Bueckers. You never once gave the reason to come for just Paige” she questioned.
“Okay, you are losing me. What does that even mean? Its one and the same…” Paige began to say completely thrown by Azzi’s argument.
“They’re not and you know it” Azzi quickly replied. “All I have gotten from you is the Paige Bueckers angle, the shooter that will get these dime passes because you move through the air like f*cking Michael Jordan. The highlight reel of no look passes that I will magically appear to catch to drain a last second three…” she began to say dramatically.
“You are seriously being really stupid right now. Of course I would want to highlight how we would need you; it would be dumb not to” Paige quickly replied. “You just want to fight with me, there is no logic in your argument. You are just bitching me out because you’re mad that what your parents are saying actually makes sense” she said.
“So, what I want does not factor in at all??? Is that what you are saying?” Azzi quickly questions once Paige makes her statement.
“Of course it matters, but we are all trying to help you because you are so indecisive about every damn thing. So sorry I made a highlight reel to literally show you how we’d use on the damn court” Paige said becoming more and more upset with why she had to defend herself on a simple action of making a highlight reel for her friend.
“How about you highlight how this big decision that I must make about my life will benefit me or you, in ways other than just basketball. The stupid thing would be to put all my eggs in one basket because guess what dumbass, I was sidelined for 9 months with an injury to where I had to find other things than basketball to just make it.”
“Az...” Paige began to say.
“f*ck you Paige” Azzi said before Azzi quickly ended the phone call before Paige could even speak.
***
The next day, all Paige could think about was her recent call with Azzi and how stressed out she seemed by it all. In that moment, Paige felt as if she were playing her part in the topic of college for Azzi, stating the fact that UCONN was always the dream for them, but she never dreamed that Azzi would that be upset with the choice all together.
Throughout the day, Paige would flip flop between thinking she was in the right way and was giving tough love to her friend and then she would flip back to thinking about how she could have handled the conversation a bit better. From the little that her brother had told her, Paige knew that Azzi was already upset with her dad, who was a UCONN or Maryland choice due to just being able to see her play, but she never thought Azzi was putting that much pressure on her decision since she never really showed it. For the times that Paige would make highlight presentations for her family, Azzi had always laughed or showed real appreciation for her taking that extra effort, but it wasn’t until now that Paige was rethinking how Azzi really was feeling.
Sitting in front of her locker, Paige grabbed her phone out of her backpack to look on to see if she had any text messages from Azzi. As suspected after a fight, she knew Azzi was going to take this time and not reach out until she was ready. The only issue was, Paige was ready to hear from her, she was always ready to hear from her since they had literally talked every night of their existence of knowing each other. There was not a lot of people that Paige made an effort to stay connected to, but Azzi, she was different from the moment she had met her back in Team USA days. So, the fact that there could be a possibility that they would not talk tonight really began to upset Paige even further.
“What’s up your ass?” Nika asks as she walks over to take a seat next to Paige by her locker.
“…nothing. Just an argument with Azzi” Paige sighed.
“Aw, that sucks” Nika replied. “I can see it’s affecting you, must’ve been serious” she said.
“It was, for her…I guess for me too” Paige replied as she thought about it. “It was about her college choice. I told her UCONN was the only logical place for her to go and then she just got even more upset” she relayed.
“Well, what other options was she telling you?” Nika asked.
“What do you mean?” Paige asked in confusion.
“You said you were talking about her college choice, then you said you told her UCONN. I mean, I would think other schools came up. She is a freakin’ National Player of the Year, so there are other colleges probably sending her offers I would assume, right?” Nika asked as Paige tried to recall the conversation for the other colleges that were talked about but was drawing a blank.
“…I really don’t think it went beyond UCONN” Paige replied.
“Which you brought up” Nika pointed out once again to Paige.
“Okay, it sounds like you’re judging me…” Paige laughed a bit in disbelief that she was being questioned so by Nika.
“No, I am not judging you. I am trying to help in all honesty, I am just going off of what you just said” Nika pointed out. “If it was an argument, I’m assuming Azzi was the one upset…” she began to say.
“Yeah, because she had just got into an argument with her dad about UCONN as well. We’ve both been telling her that UCONN would make the most logical sense, I mean Maryland too, but I do not think that would be a good fit for her…” Paige began to say as Nika just smiled at her.
“Again, we get back to what “you” think, or her parents think. I am not hearing anything about what she thinks” Nika mentions as Paige just shakes her head.
“We’ve talked about this since we were 15 years old, our dream was to always play together…” Paige began to say.
“Didn’t you play together on Team USA then at other random camps that only nationally ranked players get access to?” Nika questioned.
“That’s not the point…” Paige began to reason as she was becoming frustrated with everything that Nika was pointing out.
“Oh sh*t, you really did make this about yourself” Nika laughed as she was getting some bit of pleasure in proving Paige wrong.
“Okay, arguing with Azzi is not funny to me, I am glad you think it is but it is stressing me out and I hate being stressed. Being stressed in general just makes me feel overwhelmed, especially when I do not know what to do…” Paige began to say.
“And there’s that brain coming through” Nika concluded as she just laughed at her newfound friend “What you just said, imagine Azzi feeling that” she pointed out as Paige was finally registering all that she was telling her. “She doesn’t need you to recruit her or highlight the joys of playing with Paige Bueckers, she just wants her friend to help her make a decision about a pretty big life choice” she said. “Coming to UCONN was a big leap of faith for me because I have never been this far away from home, and I am talking home in another country. I have never had to communicate solely by phone with my family about the simplest of things. From all that you tell me about her and her family, I am thinking she has never had to as well” she pointed out, bringing her own experience into the mix. “So, the next time you make a highlight reel, maybe it should be of her and all the colleges that would be lucky to have her on their roster and let UCONN do its own talking.” She then told her before she got up and began to walk off.
“…so, you’re really going to mic drop me like that?” Paige questioned as she laughed.
“I really am” Nika said as she continued to walk away.
***
Making her way inside of the house, Azzi hummed along to the melody that had stuck in her head over the course of the day. Getting in a good workout, Azzi was feeling a bit better as working up a good sweat always made her feel better. Putting her keys down on the table, Azzi took this moment to look through her messages that she did not have a chance to get to while she was working out. Friends from the travel team. Friends from school. They had text, but there was no message from one person in particular. Knowing that the last time that she had spoken to Paige, she was a full-on mess from just the pressure of it, Azzi did not dream of being the first to text her or call her like they had always done every night. One night would pass. Then a second night would pass until eventually it would be three, Azzi made no effort to call out of sheer stubbornness, but now it was feeling like it was working against her than for her. Pulling her contact up on her phone, Azzi sat for a moment, just contemplating if she really needed to talk or text Paige, was this inkling inside of her just something that would go away after she had remembered how upset Paige made her.
“I thought I heard you come in” Katie said as she made her way into the dining room to join her daughter. “How was your work out?” she asked.
“It was good. Lifted some weights to get some of this weight off of me, didn’t help in the literal sense but it fooled me a few times” Azzi quickly replied.
“You know your dad was just trying to bring up certain points to consider about choosing your college” Katie replied.
“I know, him and Paige do that quite often. It is annoying” Azzi replied as she continued to stare at Paige’s contact information in her phone.
“Okay, can you put the phone down” Katie instructed her daughter as Azzi just sighed.
“Fine, I’ll put the phone down” Azzi obliged her mother’s wish.
“What is really bugging you? It cannot just simply be about your dad bringing up being able to see you play or being able to get to you in a matter of time…” Katie began to say.
“And now you’re sneak bringing it up, you’re on his side with this” Azzi quickly pointed out her mother’s convenient excuse to talk about Maryland or UCONN.
“Stop, you know that’s not what I’m doing” Katie replied. “Azzi, this is going to be a tough decision regardless of if the people closest to you are making it difficult or not. This is the first adult decision where you have to factor in what is best for you and your future, where you see yourself in the next four years. This is supposed to be hard or else it would not mean anything” she told her daughter.
“I am just…I am not prepared to think that far in advance. That is what you and dad are here for” Azzi reasoned as her mom just laughed. “I hear the word future and I just feel like I can’t breathe” she said.
“And that’s okay” Katie reasoned. “Some of biggest decisions in life should scare you because going into something unknown is always going to be a scary thing. There is no preparing for it or mapping it out, it is always going to be unknown because it is something you’ve never done before” she told her daughter. “You are blessed to be in the position you are to go to any school of your choice to not just play basketball but for education as well. You have given yourself an opportunity that I would only dream of having when I was your age” she added.
“I just don’t want to get this wrong, I don’t want to you to have to come save me like you always do” Azzi replied.
“Guess what kiddo, I’m your mom, I’m always going to come and save you” Katie smiled on at her “I don’t mind doing it, give me something to do when I get tired of being around the guys all the time” she said as Azzi just laughed before her mom extended her arms out to give her a hug that Azzi so desperately needed.
“Thank you” Azzi muttered as she pulled away, wiping away a tear in the process.
“And whatever Paige did, just forgive her so she can stop texting me on if you’re still mad at her” Katie said as Azzi just laughed at how persistent she was about her.
“What are you guys going to do with my room when I leave?” Azzi then questioned.
“My workout room, I have been eying your room since you turned 15 years old. Your dad and I were going to hang a television and get some of the unused equipment from the wreck center to put in there” Katie said as she did not hesitate to answer her question.
“Can you at least act like you wouldn’t dream of turning my room into a workout room?” Azzi questioned as she laughed.
“I’ve never been one to lie to you, why start now” Katie replied. “We’ll name a dumbbell after you” she teased.
“I feel like you back hand insulted me” Azzi laughed.
***
After her talk with her mom, Azzi was starting to feel a bit better with everything as her mom gave her a new perspective on how to look at things. Was it still a difficult choice? Yes. But it was a burden she was blessed to have. At dinner that night, Azzi’s dad had made a point to make it a family fun night with no talk of college but just play silly games and talk about random pop culture things to keep the mood light. While that was the norm for them, Azzi appreciated things being normal for just one night and leaving the big decision for another night. Just as they were preparing for another round of games, a knock came to the door that caught everyone off guard. Seeing that no one else was making an effort to go answer the door, Azzi just shook her head and nominated herself to be the one that had to get up and see who it was.
Opening the door, Azzi was surprised to see the blonde that she had grown quite fond of standing on the other side with a duffel bag in hand. Looking as if she came fresh from practice in Connecticut and just decided to catch the first available flight, Paige looked as if this was an impromptu trip that was just thought of on the spot, which she was known for doing. Looking back at her family, Azzi looked at them as they just laughed at how once again, Paige was doing Paige like things. Turning her attention back towards the blonde, Azzi and Paige stood in uncomfortable silence as both were unsure of what to say to break the ice with each other. Growing tired of looking how pathetic she looked in her practice clothes, Azzi grabbed hold of Paige’s arm and dragged her inside of the house while Paige barely was able to close the door behind her.
“Hi Tim. Hi Katie. Jon. Jose” Paige greeted them as Azzi continued to drag her back to her room. “Hey, I am sore you know. I just came from practice” she said before they entered Azzi’s room.
“So, you took a flight???” Azzi questioned.
“I had the miles, I apparently come this way often” Paige smiled weakly.
“From how sore you are, I assume you didn’t even do recovery after practice” Azzi concluded.
“I did not have time, I had to book it across campus. Get Evina to take me to the airport, then run to my gate to make the plane” Paige told her.
“Why?” Azzi asked.
“You didn’t call or text me” Paige replied as they just looked on at each other “And we don’t do that, at least not with each other” she said as Azzi just shook her head.
“I want to laugh because this…this is classic Paige, act first and think later. But I am still upset with you…” Azzi began to say.
“And you have every right to be, I was not being a friend and hearing you out about what you wanted in your future. I projected what I wanted your future to be and just assumed
you wanted the same thing” Paige told her. “So, to rectify that, I want you to know that I started here you. Take in all that you have said” she said before she opened up her duffle bag to pull out different school shirts. She had lay UCLA shirt on the floor, Notre Dame on the floor, USC on the floor, South Carolina on the floor, Florida on the floor, Maryland on the floor. Before Azzi knew it, Paige had covered her bedroom floor with all the college shirts that given her a basketball scholarship.
“You know, I don’t need shirts from these schools” Azzi told her.
“I know, they’re for me” Paige told her as Azzi once again looked at her confused. “Where ever you go, they’re going to become my second favorite school to support because they’ll have you…and you know how I feel about you” she said as Azzi just shook her head as in true Paige fashion of making no sense, she made sense when it mattered the most to Azzi. “So, we’re going to talk this out, each school and figure out what are the schools you’re actually going to consider and the schools that have not shot in hell” she told her.
“…well, I can’t imagine you in green, so we can take Baylor out…possibly Notre Dame as well” Azzi teased.
“Really!?! You would do that for me? I mean I truly hate the color green on me, but I’d sacrifice for you. I would hate it, but I will wear it” Paige replied as she looked on at all the colleges that sprawled out on the floor. “Besides, Notre Dame has some pretty good guard play and you’d fit in that system. Notre Dame also has a killer Social Media Communication course that is a modern take on Communications. Baylor, it is in flux right now with all that is going on with the coaching staff. I do not think you would want that stress as a freshman coming in beyond just dealing with the Texas heat” she said as she seriously looked on at the shirts while Azzi just laughed to herself on how serious she was being.
“Where’d you even get all these shirts?” Azzi questioned.
“You forget, I have the connect now” Paige boasted as she was always one to toot her own horn at times. “How are you feeling about South Carolina?” she then asked.
“I loved the campus; the facilities were nice. Then of course, there is Dawn Staley as coach, so that is a bonus” Azzi listed off as she recalled her visit.
“So, South Carolina could be in the running?” Paige asked as she looked on at Azzi. In that moment, Azzi paused before she said anything as if she wanted some bit of assurance that Paige would not be upset by her response on if she liked another school other than UCONN. Seeing the uncertainty in her eyes, Paige knew that she would have to make the first move to assure her that things were going to be fine and that all that mattered was that she was supporting her as she should. “Yeah, it is in the running. Dawn Staley alone is a bonus to go there” she said picking the shirt up to put in a pile as the colleges to consider.
“I did like the Communication curriculum at UCLA” Azzi then added as they both got comfortable and began to sift through all the college shirts, while Azzi listed the reasons as to why she liked or did not like the colleges.
***
What typically would have felt like a frustrating process, sifting through her college offers, Azzi found that this time around, she was enjoying looking at things from another perspective. They would weave in basketball talk and education points in her decision making, Azzi was finding that she was able to truly voice what she was feeling about the schools rather than internalize. The Paige way, it was what she needed to take some of the pressure. To feel as if it would not be the end of the world if she decided to look at something other than UCONN because she had Paige’s support. Her parents and her brothers even managed to get into the mix, making this surprise approach a family event that allowed her dad to hear her thoughts in a way that he had not before.
Standing in her bathroom, Azzi stood finishing brushing her teeth as she looked on at Paige hopping into the bed. Noticing that she was wearing a pair of her pajamas, Azzi could not help but notice how the fit looked a bit better on her. It was not like her to stare, but her eyes had a tendency to focus keenly on the little things about her best friend that she hadn’t noticed before. Tearing herself out of her reverie of the girl, Azzi headed out of the bathroom and over to the bed to join Paige. Playfully hitting her with the pillow, Paige laughed as Azzi was too strong to get taken down by her feeble attempts to hit her.
“Have you ever had a pillow fight?” Paige then asked as she looked on at the pillow.
“What?” Azzi laughed at the randomness of the question “That’s random to ask” she then stated.
“I know. I guess, we are both always so caught up with sports that we do not really get to do teenage things. You know the slumber parties that have the pillow fights and braiding each other’s hair…” Paige began to say as they both laid back on their pillows.
“Do you want me to braid your hair? Would that satisfy your need to go back to your childhood days” Azzi teased as Paige laughed.
“No, I do not want you to braid my hair. I need my braid to be smooth and on point, you can not do that” Paige quickly boasted about her signature style. “I guess tonight, I just realized that I never looked at colleges the way we did tonight. Factoring in other things beyond basketball, I never did that with my decision…and I guess, it just made me realize what I missed” she brought up as her random thought turned into a deeper meaning.
“Do you regret going to UCONN?” Azzi asked.
“No, I do not. It is what I wanted, it is just an adjustment outside of the world of basketball. It is more me figuring out the adult things. Keying in on the things I want” Paige said as Azzi nodded in agreement. “It really hurt when it felt like you thought I was not listening to you. Like it bugged me more than I thought it would” she then said after a few moments of silence came between them.
“I had to be honest with you” Azzi replied as she looked on to see that Paige was staring up at the ceiling. “I was overwhelmed with all these opinions of where I should go and why I had to go there, I just felt like I got lost in the mix of it all. Like I was going to hurt you if I did not agree with you or hurt my dad if I was not factoring in his need to be there at every game” she said.
“I get it now; it was painfully brought to my attention” Paige laughed as she thought back to her conversation with Nika.
“But you made up for it with what you did tonight, it was actually fun” Azzi stated as Paige smiled.
“Your dad even liked it, I think he even heard some valid points from you” Paige brought up to her as Azzi just laughed, agreeing with her statement.
“So, if with my choices tonight: UCLA, Notre Dame, South Carolina, and UCONN. Are you sure you are going to be fine if I go with something other than UCONN?” Azzi turned to her side to look at her in the bed.
“I mean…” Paige began to say as she took a moment to think over what she should say as opposed to what she wanted to say. “I’m happy with whatever you choose, I just want you to make the best decision for you” she told her friend. “I would rather have you in my life one way shape or form, than having you shut me out like you did when you thought I wasn’t hearing you. That would…that would hurt worse than anything. So, if I have to stream your games or bum rides to your game or hop a plane, I guess that’s just what I’ll have to do” she said as Azzi just laughed. Staring at her quizzically for a moment, Azzi waited a moment to see if Paige genuinely felt that way. A part of her was waiting for her to make her last plea for UCONN to be her landing spot. The Paige recruit that she had needed to make her decision on why UCONN was the best fit for her.
“Well thank you, it’s nice to finally get the love and support from you and the family” Azzi smiled. “I’m glad you surprised me with a visit for the weekend, no better way to spend it than hanging out with you” she said as she began to drift off to sleep.
“Yeah, whatever” Paige said as she looked over to notice that Azzi was fast asleep. Looking at her for a moment, Paige could not help but notice the stillness she had as she slept so peacefully. Reaching towards her so gently, Paige tucked away a loose strand of hair behind ear. Getting caught up in just how naturally beautiful she was, the angelic nature in which she just lay asleep. Paige just watched for a moment, doing nothing else but analyzing what it was about her of all the people that had such an effect on her. With each moment that passed, Paige was reminded of the very first thing she noticed upon meeting her best friend years ago for the very first time…. that in only one look, she took her breath away and made her heartbeat faster than it was humanly possible to.
