Last Updated on March 4, 2024
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Having the perfect, witty, sarcastic roasts in your arsenal can prove beneficial at any family dinner, reunion, or chill night out with friends. Good roasts can enliven and bring joy to awkward dinners and parties if timed right.
Roasting can be fun if you have a group of friends who enjoy such raillery. Be wary, though, because some of these roasts can be extremely provoking. So be sure to use them on someone you know who can handle a bit of banter!
However, it is paramount to remember never to hit low blows. Always refrain from teasing or roasting anyone on their looks and insecurities because these factors are out of their control. Never try to make someone feel small or poke at their trigger points and always use light-hearted roasts that won’t leave a permanent mark on your relationship.
We’re going to look at some of the quirkiest and wittiest roasts for you to get an edge over your friends in arguments. With over 60 roasts, we’re sure there’ll be one for every situation!
21 Ferocious Roasts That’ll Cut Deep
I’m not saying you’re ugly, but you’re why miscarriages exist!
I was going to stand here and make a joke about your life, but hey, it looks like life got here first.
Accident’s really do happen; the proof is right in front of me.
Whatever doesn’t kill you disappoints me.
Where is your off button?
Hear that? That’s the sound of me not caring.
You bring everyone so much joy… when you leave the room!
Why are you so annoying? You’re like the human version of period cramps.
I’ve heard a smarter statement come out in my fart.
Everyone’s entitled to their opinion, but yours is always the wrong one.
It’s not that I don’t listen to you when you talk. It’s just that there’s only so much stupid I can take in one go.
Every time I think you can’t get any dumber, you prove me wrong!
If stupidity were a crime, you’d be getting the death penalty.
You’re an insult to idiots.
You haven’t changed at all since the last time I saw you. You really should!
Looking at you reminded me to take my contraception. I wouldn’t risk giving birth to someone like you.
Sounds like a personal problem to me.
You’re like the end-pieces of bread. Everyone touches you, but no one wants you.
Is your family tree a cactus? Because you guys are a bunch of pricks.
Keep on rolling your eyes; you might just find a brain.
Are you a software update? Because every time I see you, I think ‘not now’.
21 Comebacks That’ll Leave Your Nemesis Dumbstruck
You can never be half the man your mom is.
Remember, if anyone says you’re pretty, it’s all a big lie.
Maybe try using a gluestick instead of chapstick next time?
I’m envious of the people who don’t know you.
I thought about you today, and I proceeded to take out the trash.
Don’t be ashamed of who you are; that’s your parent’s job.
Your secret’s safe with me since I never listen to you anyways.
Are you at a loss for words, or did you exhaust your entire vocabulary?
I would fart if I wanted to hear from an asshole.
Is your ass jealous of the amount of sh*t coming out of your mouth?
Light travels faster than sound, which is why you seemed bright before you spoke.
Here’s your nose; I found it in my business.
If you are going to be two-faced, at least make one of them pretty.
I don’t remember asking for your opinion.
Wish I had a flip phone so I could slam it shut on this conversation.
I can smell something burning; judging by your face, I presume it’s you.
Have you ever tried not being an idiot?
You’re like the human version of athlete’s foot; annoying and hard to get rid of.
Your parents are living proof that two wrongs do not make a right.
I think everyone brings happiness to a room. It’s just that you bring happiness when you leave the room.
I’m really sorry my honesty inconvenienced your over-inflated sense of self.
21 Devastating Burns That Could Ruin Friendships
You’re the reason amnesia exists.
Hey man, the jerk store called. They’re running out of you.
Your birth certificate should be an apology letter from Durex.
Your face is fine, but you should really put a curtain over your personality.
Some people are like slinkies; not good for much, but they bring a smile to your face when pushed down the stairs.
You got something on your chin. No no… the third one down.
I’m no astronomer, but I’m pretty sure the Earth revolves around the Sun, not you!
You have your whole life to be stupid. Why not take today off?
I really love what you’ve done with your hair. How’d you get it to come out of your nostrils like that?
I’d give you a nasty look, but you’ve already got one!
Most mistakes can be fixed, but you’re the exception.
Oops, my bad. I could’ve sworn I was dealing with an adult.
I really hope you’re done with your drama because I need an intermission.
If genius skips a generation, your children will be brilliant.
Your face makes onions cry.
If I had a face like yours, I would sue my parents.
Your only chance at getting laid is to crawl up a chicken’s butt and wait.
Do you hear that? It’s the sound of me not caring.
I’ll never forget the first time we met, but I’ll keep trying.
Did you know your incubator had tinted windows? It was the only way your parents were going to take you home.
You’ve got so many gaps in your teeth that it looks like your tongue is in jail.
Remember, roasting is an art, and it has to come naturally to have an impact. Here’s a hilarious video on some of the best roasts of all time. This will give you a good idea of how roasting works.
The FAQ Section: Ask Away
What’s the best and worst roast of all time?
There’s no best or worst roast because roasts are subjective, and their popularity depends on personal preference. Where one group of friends might laugh their socks off on one roast, another group might not even crack a smile at the same roast.
Hence, the worst and best roasts are entirely up to your judgement.
What’s the most controversial roast of all time?
There have been many controversial roasts on television, but we can’t pinpoint one as the most controversial. The most recent one that comes to mind happened during the 94th Academy Awards in 2021.
The incident involved comedian Chris Rock and actor Will Smith. Chris Rock commented on Will’s wife, Jada Pinkett Smith’s bald head, which she shaves due to alopecia.
Chris said, ‘Jada, I love you. G.I. Jane 2, can’t wait to see it, alright?’ this wasn’t taken well by Will Smith, and he walked up the stage to smack Chris Rock across the face during the award show.
This roast caused a lot of controversies, and the Smiths were subject to a lot of scrutiny, resulting in Will Smith publishing a public apology video to Chris Rock.
Posted by:Igor Ovsyannnykov
Igor is an SEO specialist, designer, photographer, writer and music producer. He believes that knowledge can change the world and be used to inspire and empower young people to build the life of their dreams.When he is not writing in his favorite coffee shop, Igor spends most of his time reading books, taking photos, producing house music, and learning about cinematography. He is a sucker for good coffee, Indian food, and video games.
